Jordana Brewster Says She 'Felt Like an Imposter' After Not Being Able to Carry Her Children During Surrogacy
Jordana Brewster Says She 'Felt Like an Imposter' After Not Being Able to Carry Her Children During Surrogacy
Gabrielle RocksonTue, June 23, 2026 at 5:06 PM UTC
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Jordana Brewster with her sons Julian and RowanCredit: rdana Brewster/Instagram -
Jordana Brewster revealed in a new first-person piece for The Cut, published Monday, June 22, that she felt like an "imposter" after not being able to carry her children during surrogacy
The actress said a brain condition discovered in her 20s led to her decision to pursue gestational surrogacy for her children
Brewster shares sons Julian, 12, and Rowan, 10, with her ex-husband Andrew Form
Jordana Brewster is opening up about the challenges she faced while having her children via surrogacy.
In a new first-person piece for The Cut, published Monday, June 22, the actress, who shares sons Julian, 12, and Rowan, 10, with her ex-husband Andrew Form, revealed she felt like an "imposter" and once broke down after attending a scan with the surrogate mother, identified as Jessica.
"I'm driving south, I realized on the ride back, and my child is heading north to a home I don't know, hearing sounds I can't recognize, getting used to routines foreign to me," Brewster, 46, wrote. "I sobbed and sobbed in my hotel room until I almost vomited."
Jordana Brewster with her sons Julian and Rowan at the GOOD+ Foundation's 2nd annual Halloween Bash at Culver Studios on October 22, 2017Credit: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic
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"I wanted to vomit, actually, because at least that would be real," she continued. "Maybe I just wanted to punish myself for not doing what any self-respecting woman can do: carry her own child. Pregnancy and childbirth were rites of passage, and I was grieving an experience I hadn't known I even wanted in the first place."
Brewster said her decision to go down the path of surrogacy "wasn't entirely mine" as it came after doctors found a mulberry-sized cavernous malformation (CVM) in her brain when she was 28 years old.
CVM is an abnormal tangle of blood vessels that can cause bleeding, which can lead to seizures or stroke, according to the Cleveland Clinic.
When Brewster began to think about having children at the age of 31, doctors said that the "increased blood flow caused by pregnancy" could put her and the baby at risk.
"He suggested surgery, but after a functional MRI showed that the placement of the CVM made it hard to reach and could put my ability to speak and read at risk, I decided against it. I chose gestational surrogacy instead," she wrote.
Eventually welcoming her first son Julian via surrogate in 2013, the Fast and Furious star recalled how eager she was to bring him home.
"It was my turn to be a mother, and I wanted to do it my way," she wrote. "The thing is, I didn't entirely feel like one yet. I felt like an impostor."
Despite her joy in becoming a mother, Brewster still continued to navigate an emotional rollercoaster.
"I felt like I had a dirty little secret: I hadn't earned my child," she wrote. "The worst part of feeling like an impostor is that it creates an opening for other people's cruelty."
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Brewster said that when Julian was in kindergarten the head of the school suggested she should take time off work to "bond" with her son.
"He had some behavioral issues like talking back and refusing to listen that would have been normal in the '90s but were considered taboo in 2015," she wrote. "Rather than consider whether she was gaslighting me, her suggestion confirmed my worst fear: Everything was my fault."
Jordana Brewster and sons Julian and Rowan at 'Camp Halohead' Animated Entertainment YouTube Series Launch Party on Nov. 14. 2019Credit: Stefanie Keenan/Getty
"Little did she know that, as an actress, I was lucky to work two to three months a year, at most," the mother of two said. "Little did she know my then-husband was away on set most of the year while I navigated motherhood alone."
Brewster said that it was after the birth via surrogacy of her second son in 2016 when "the shame dissipated slightly."
"My sister and parents lived a couple of miles away, and I had community; I even hosted a music and sensory-based class for about 15 moms and their babies," she said.
However, two years later, Brewster's medication for CVM stopped working and she suffered from two seizures.
She then decided to undergo surgery in 2020, just a few months after filing for divorce. Brewster has since remarried Mason Morfit, whom she tied the knot with in 2022.
"Six years post-surgery, I feel softer, lighter," Brewster wrote in her first-person article for The Cut. "Maybe the surgery needed to happen so that I could somehow reconcile the choice not to carry my kids. Maybe that's too simple an answer. Maybe it's both."
She added, "It makes sense to me now that I didn't feel like a mom back then. I hadn't put in the time yet. At our first meeting, Jessica told me that she was doing the easy part. I had the real work of raising my sons."
The proud mom went on to state that motherhood was found in the playdates, school meetings, co-sleeping and emergency-room visits.
"It's in how I give over my time, energy, and attention day after day," she said.
In 2024, Brewster told PEOPLE that multiple mothers reached out to her after she opened up about her journey with IVF and surrogacy.
"I think life is all about paying it forward," she said at the time. "And so if I can help someone because of the struggles I went through, I'm more than happy to do that."
on People
Source: “AOL Entertainment”
